assholes

On assholes (and not being one)

Some days are harder than others. And some years are. This has been a hard year. My best friend is losing her store. My most favorite older relative Peter Behrendt died. We got the president we wanted, but the economy is terrible. The war continues. Sarah Palin is selling books. Our health care sucks.

I am 55 and my face is disappearing. It is being sucked into my skin, and I’m starting to look like – my scary Norwegian grandmother. The one who was depressed all the time, and who hated people. Uh, uh oh. I am morphing.

The University of California is broke, and my students are suffering. I have seen this idiotic expansion with no regard for students coming for at least 10 years. No one listened. Now the university really IS in ruins, and it’s not just a phrase.

So I feel really depressed, and when I’m depressed I eat. I eat when I’m happy too. I converted to Judaism for the 24/7 eating. And the complaining. And the social consciousness.

I go to Factor’s Deli on Pico, and I order the stuff I love and shouldn’t eat. I eat bacon, eggs, and all the things I shouldn’t consume for my face and what’s left of my figure.

The waitress beams, and the guy who is the host says ” YOUR GLASSES ARE COOL.”
I tell him they aren’t, and that they are just Ray bans. He insists. I finally say it. Thank you.

“HAVE FUN IN THOSE GLASSES!” he says.

It occurs to me that this is a prime example of someone, showing us the practice of not being an asshole. I feel better (granted, the bacon helps).

I go home and offer my niece a ride to Northern California. I email a ditzy but very nice student and offer to write a recommendation for her. I tell my daughter I’m proud of her. I hug my husband.

Nothing has been solved, but I can work on not being an asshole. It’s not that hard actually. Everyone can do it.

So, over Thanksgiving, thank each other for the fact that you all weren’t assholes TODAY. And that you don’t have to be ones tomorrow either.

It isn’t much. But. It is. A start.