LEH

Listening (and gifting) like Leonard

My father Leonard Hammer was an impossible person a lot of the time. Insanely conservative (by this I mean a Reaganite, and before that a Nixonite), my dad glared at men who didn’t wear ties (which was most of them), considered the Israelis an overwrought lot, and detested political radicalism (of the left). He and I did not get on a lot of the time.

But.

The man knew how to treat people to lunch, dinner and drinks. He loved much younger people, frequently spoke to his fraternity brothers at universities and conventions, and once helped a young NYC taxi driver, who seemed like a nice person, get a job in television. He helped, listened, encouraged, and always picked up the check with a bevy of much younger friends – who included, by the way female former secretaries, bank tellers, and salespersons, whom he had gotten to know during his travels up and down the East Side avenues.

“You work in a world I do not understand,” he told me repeatedly over lunch at the various clubs he belonged to. “But you are successful at it and I’m proud of you. I hope you’re proud of yourself. “ He always kind of yelled when he said that last part – which would explain why I found these lunches fairly embarrassing.

Now I am 56 and have many friends who are much younger than I am. Younger friends are amazing, because they have so much energy and ambition and their dreams are fresh and strong.

3 nights ago I had a friend tell me he was up for a possible new wonderful job.
“You work in a world I do not understand,” I said. “But gosh, I’m proud of you.” I spoke or rather, yelled, sagely, lifted my glass, and paid the check.

Oops! Am I really an old geezer like my dad? More like a geezer in training I figure, and a left leaning, Green Party sympathizing one at that. Still I had the opportunity to feel grateful to him for his skills at table. The way he made you feel you could order anything you wanted off the menu, the way he got the check and dealt with the wait staff. He always treated them nicely too.

I used those moves this week with my friend with the possibly new great job, and with two newly turned girl professors, and with two wonderful graduating students. I tell them all I’m proud of them, and I hope they are proud of themselves.

My dad really had a way with being generous and supportive.

Here’s to paying that gift forward.

But please, don’t vote Republican.