On blame

"They are no goddamn good!"

My father, Leonard Hammer was a big declaimer of this sentence. He said it a lot. And he said it loudly. 

Here are some of the people my dad designated, when he said “they are no goddamn good:”

African Americans and Black Africans

Asians, in particular the Japanese

Gay and queer persons, in particular gay men

Hispanics, in particular Puerto Ricans

Indians – both Native American and South Asian

Israelis

Irish-Americans

Italian-Americans

Jews

The Pope

I am making my father sound like a horrible person.  And in some ways he was.  He was certainly a racist, and was deeply prejudiced against people who held religious and sexual practice values different than his own.  He was, like many White Male straight Protestant Americans, unaware of how White privilege informed his experience and politics.  Like many working class people, my dad was unwilling and or unable to deal with how class shapes working life and opportunities in the US. 

But he was not – to use his own words -- “no goddamn good.”

My father was also generous to a fault, and when he actually met and talked to a person, who belonged to a member of the above list, came away and said “Wow!  That person is nothing like what I imagined they would be!”  (this doesn’t redeem him, by the way – but it does suggest that he wasn’t completely awful). 

My dad gave to charities.  And he also apologized when he was wrong. He apologized to me the day before he died, for all the crappy things he did.

The suggestion I am trying to make is that no one is “no goddamn good.”   It’s just never that simple. 

We are all a complex alloy.  Sarah Palin is (argh) an alloy and every Israeli and every Palestinian is one too.  Even Osama Bin Laden is not completely "no goddamn good" (although, I admit, that's a stretch).  Barack Obama is not perfect, and neither is your favorite political leader/religious authority (including the Dalai Lama).

Being Leonard Hammer’s daughter, I do my share of beserker-style yelling and screaming.  I am enraged as anybody about the following situations:

1.     Unemployment

2.     The Tax cuts for the rich

3.     The cuts to education in California and in the US

4.     The failure of the Dream Act

5.     The greenhouse gas emissions from the US

6.     The war in Afghanistan

7.     The failure of peace talks between Israel and Palestine

However, I think too much blame of the “they are no goddamn good” kind is being passed around.  And as a result we are losing opportunities to get things done.  We are thinking way way inside the box when we do this Leonard Hammer type of responding. 

So this week, I am going to try not to say “they are no goddamn good.”  No matter how much I want to.  And no matter how mad I am about whatever it might be.

And I am going to try to be aware of how my own access to White privilege determines my responses and my words.

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas week if you celebrate and if you don’t, a beautiful and wonderful winter week.